LISA MC CANN      Redding, Connecticut, USA        2 February, 2008

  

            I will try to summarize here my experiences with Mahasati meditation, as I spoke of on the video. 

            I came to learn the method about three years ago, in February of 2005.  I had practiced vipassana meditation on my own for maybe 10 years, and I had also practiced the shamanic journey for many years, a very powerful practice, which I loved.  I had seen things and experienced great joy and the sense of sacredness of the universe, but I could not sustain the fruit of these experiences in my daily life.  So when I came to the Redding Meditation Center and met Achan Da and Achan Niphen, and they said, “If you practice this method diligently, you will see things as they really are,” I knew this practice was right for me.

            Because I had practiced hatha yoga by myself, as a meditation, for many years, I already knew body/mind (rupa-nama), so I did not have to work to become aware of my body and bodily movement.  Very quickly after learning the method I began to see thought.  Before this I did not know the difference between seeing thought and keeping thought away.  Keeping thought away meant holding it back, keeping open the space in my mind, but “seeing” thought meant letting it come in, recognizing it and returning to bodily movement.  As soon as I saw the thoughts this way, they disappeared.  When thought disappeared, in its place was awareness.  So I saw the difference between thought and awareness.

            Seeing thought and being aware is the tool that brings “touching objects with the mind.”  Touching objects with the mind happens when we can sustain awareness for more than a few moments at a time.  We come to see reality around us with extreme clarity, as if through a strong lens.  This is very beautiful and gratifying.  But it is also a tool for something else:  if we can see in this exquisite way, we remember to choose awareness over thought, and our awareness expands and lasts longer.  We come to see thought as a veil that covers over clarity of mind.   We begin to see that our mind is something amazing and large and clear, and if we can sustain awareness, the veil that lies over reality in our minds lifts, and we see.

            So, practicing regularly allows us to see reality as it is.  This is not a single event, but a process.  Part of this process is the sloughing off of what is called “defilement”:  anger, delusion, greed, fear, and so forth.  This purifying process happens as a result of seeing thought, deeper and deeper.  At first becoming aware of defilement can make us very uncomfortable, but when we practice, we experience the falling away of the kinds of thought (including emotions and other feelings) that make us heavy.  When they fall away we experience lightness of being.  As we experience more lightness of being we relax more and our practice becomes more efficient.  We allow thought to come in and don’t worry about it:  automatically we return to awareness.  As we relax into our practice, the releasing of defilement becomes automatic, too.  We find that we don’t get angry so often or as intensely, that we are more at home in the world, and so forth.  This lightness of being makes our practice more efficient.

            So, all these processes work together: each step, if we want to call the changes steps, is connected to all the other ones, as spokes in a wheel.  Now I see the practice more as a whole than as a series of separate steps. 

            Recently I was grappling with what is said by meditation teachers about body and mind:  that the mind is the master of the body.  I was very sure that while the mind may direct the body, the two cannot be separated into master-mind and slave-body but are One.   Neither can be anything without the other.  I suddenly became aware that the body/mind of myself is one and the same with the body/mind of the universe.  It works the same way and is in fact the same.  When I realized that and was completely confident of it, in an instant, something changed in me.  I came to a level of peace that I had never had before.  I noticed that while other people might become agitated around me for various reasons, I did not become agitated.  I said to myself, “I used to be like that, but I’m not anymore.”

            I love my practice and continue with it, looking for more insight and delight.  I am grateful to my teachers, and to the Dhamma that sustains us and all beings, and animates the whole universe.

 

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Choosri Chaipann

Monday 11th, February, 2008

 

 

According to Buddhadasa "Suffering is a diamond in the head of a toad." Suffering might be ugly in our opinion, but because its taste is unbearable it leads some sensitive persons to seek a way out. And if we are lucky we find a right way.

 

I use my experiences to assure you that "being with the knowing element" is the right key.

Because of what has happened, I always give thanks to my own sufferings and to all people who were involved.

 

I don't know if this is a coincidence or my fortune. I was in misery twice in my life: both times in the USA.

 

The first was the period 1971-May 1973: it was the first time that I missed my family, my mom, my boyfriend. At the time I had second-hand knowledge about Buddhism but it could not help me out of my misery. Then I made a determination that I would really study more about Buddhism and the first teacher was Buddhadasa. I read his book about Nibbana or Nirvana. Since then I have been searching for Nirvana. This is my first diamond, because my true intention to get out of suffering led me to meet Luangpor Teean (LPT) and learn his wonderful teachings. Within 3 months, I had confidence in the method. Within 3 years, "seeing myself", "seeing anger," became real or first-hand knowledge. I quit my job to follow LPT in 1982.

 

The second time, 1995-2000: I came to the States every year during that time as a translator for this teaching. In the year 2000, I realized that my belief in "authority" made me suffer. This is my second diamond. I gave up on "authority," no matter where or whom it came from, even my dearest teacher, LPT. I said to myself:

 

1. "Dhamma must be so great in itself. It doesn't need anyone to protect it."

2. " The truth must be simple."

3. "So from now on, I am going to walk by myself with this little candle in my hand – self -awareness."

I keep walking even now with that little candle.

 

From the beginning until September of last year, 2007, I helped the Luangpor Teean Foundation in Thailand by editing LPT's books. I went to Wat Mok – a name of one of LPT's temples - 3 times. Each time I spent from 7 days to 2 weeks working on the texts. I read his teachings from morning till night, not to study them, but to edit them clearly.

I kept my mind open and aware, although I did not expect anything from the work for myself; but because I was working so closely with the teachings, reading and rereading them with awareness while looking at my mind, the light of truth penetrated into the mind.

 

On 13th of September, during the annual retreat (LPT was born and died in September), I was one of the guest speakers who had to share experiences with other practitioners. This was the first time that I talked about the quality of the mind that is always clean, clear, calm, and joyful.

 

I don't know how it happened but I noticed that the mind changed its quality. This never happened to me before. I don't know how long it will last, but I do know that it is comfortable and there is no problem in the mind.

 

I think I understand and have experienced all of your misery and all difficulties in practicing. That is why I would like to assure you that practicing with your own little candle – the "knowing element" – will bring light to your mind. Then you will see for yourself that we have the same mind and it is always perfect. Then life is more meaningful.

According to LPT's teachings, this state is not the end yet. There is more to prove and make real to oneself.

 

My gratitude to Luangpor Teean Jittasubho for his wisdom and compassion.